"Do you mind driving me to that little wine place that we went to that one time?"
"I have no idea what place you are talking about. What wine place?"
"That place with the cheap decor but the really good interior BC selection. It's like…nearby to the bakery."
"What the hell? What bakery?"
"That place with the easter bread we got one year."
"So we're looking for a polish bakery, but not actually the polish bakery but a wine place NEAR that bakery."
"Yeah, I'll just type that into google maps and see what happens."
"You don't have to be rude. I just need a ride. I think I can give you directions while we're in the car."
"Why can't you drive yourself then?"
"I've been drinking."
"…Of course you have."
"Not enough to impair my inhibitions, but enough to scare pedestrians."
"There are so many things wrong with what you just said that I don't know where to begin."
"If I keep drinking, I won't gain weight. I read that on the internet today."
"This is why you don't have an iPhone, you know."