Raise a glass. Err...a bottle.

There are going to be insane amounts of people drunk tonight on expensive Islay scotch and making massive donations to charities in Africa that put young girls through school in tribute of the life that was. We're going to miss you something fierce, old man.


Game of Thrones the married way.

"Is Sean Bean the good guy in this? I think there needs to be a flashing bar at the bottom that lets viewers know right away if he is a good guy or a bad guy so I can concentrate on the plot and not whether or not he's going to stab someone in the back. Or front. If he's going to stab someone, I sort of need to know ahead of time. If I write HBO a letter, will they have time to add this in for the next episode? I can't be the only person on the planet wondering about this right now. A flashing bar would resolve this for a lot of people."

"How hard do you think it would be for me to get my hands on a dire wolf pup?"

"Oh. Well...dire wolves aren't real. So, pretty hard?"


*long pause*

"I don't know what to focus on anymore. My crushing need to know if Sean Bean's character is ultimately a bad guy, or if you just googled dire wolves to see if they exist or not."

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

"I'm going to forget this conversation ever happened. I like to believe I have some respect for you left."

"Says the guy who definitely wasn't listening to Taylor Swift this afternoon when he thought I was napping."

Note: I haven't read the series all the way through, so please don't spoil it!


Finish him.

This made every single bone in my body squeal in delight.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to pull out my MK soundtrack and crank it to 11.


Dark side.

"It'd funny if the first words of the first astronaut on Mars were about forgetting a toothbrush."

"That's what you'd go with for your first iconic words? Really? I'd go with something like...I'm not wearing any pants for a year and a half! or WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL THE DINOSAURS?? AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

"This is why you'll never be an astronaut."

"No...the real reason I'm not an astronaut is that no space agency could afford the cleaning supplies."


"I suspect space-approved glass cleaner is about a million and a half per bottle. And I'd need a NASA approved squeegee."

"Because you'd moon the moon?"

"Because I'd moon the moon."




Bomb birds are useless.

Want your husband to keep his filthy paws off your new iPad and not fuck with your Angry Birds momentum?

Rename it The Menstrual Pad and have loud and angry discussion in which one party makes it known that it will not deter him from using it. Grab his work Blackberry and proceed to lock yourself in the bathroom while threatening to email his peers that he has an abnormal fascination with sanitary napkins. Someone gets called a childish bitch. Stand-off ends with a swap of technology under the door.

That's a pro-tip, ladies. Also...Angry Birds is just as awesome when you are sitting on the tub ledge waiting for the other party to finish cleaning the "You suck" written in eyeliner off the screen of his mobile phone.