Customs.

Today my husband is in another country. And it has nothing to do with me, apparently (I am aware that they say that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I think the science is bunk).

I am going to miss him even though I know that the only reason he and I are married is that he drew the short straw against the rest of humanity and now it is his sole responsibility to ensure I don't wreak my particular brand of havoc on the population. The last time he went out of town he left me little notes in various places around the house that said things like "I've dismantled your nanobots so stop looking for them" and "I've wired this place to blow if you even think about continuing your research into ninja-cats". He takes his job pretty seriously, I guess, and worries about me when he's gone. Like I'm some sort of chump.

Wait...who is the chump here? I AM NOT A CHUMP, MISTER, SO TAKE THAT BACK AND SOMETHING ABOUT RIDING A HORSE.

And that is the conversation I had in my head when I decided that tucking a post-it note into his passport demanding a tributary gift but specifically "No STD's, I have to draw the line somewhere" would be hilarious. Especially since he wouldn't see it....but the lovely people at US customs would.

And they did. They still let him in the country though (after embarrassing him, which is pure icing on the cake), so clearly I have to try harder next time.