I am investing in a small voice recorder.
Some of the conversations we have are so insane that to simply type them out does not do them justice. And I have to do it on the sly or else B will affect his "I'm so clever" voice and then I'll be forced to roll my eyes and that shit doesn't get picked up on a voice recorder.
You also haven't lived until you've heard B sigh. It's like this amazing combination of "I can't believe you fucking exist" and "Just let an asteroid hit me right now" with a dash of "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round...".